I have a musing for you today. Many of you may have heard of The Birth Order Book, Dr. Kevin Leman orThe Birth Order Effect, Robert Miles. There is also Born to Rebel, Frank J. Sulloway– but that is a story about one of my sisters!! And finally, we have The First Born Advantage, also by Dr. Leman – now this one is about me!
Many of these books put forth the theory that the firstborns lead, the middle children adapt and the youngest break the rules. I would say this is true in most instances, but we cannot write these words in stone. Each person is different, no matter their birth order, and leading, adapting or breaking rules can be the norm for anyone.
What I would like to put forth is the advantage the oldest child has. Yes, responsibility is tattooed on their foreheads before the doctor spanks them into life. I am the oldest in my family and I knew very early what was required of me. I didn’t rebel or make a fuss, I just did my chores, took care of the younger siblings and was a sounding board for my parents.
But I must say I am so thankful I was the oldest child. Date of birth can mean a lot when you think about how many years your grandparents and aunts and uncles live. Being the first I heard all the stories before my siblings, put them in my memory banks and continued to think about them for the next 60+ years. None of my siblings sat on the arm of our paternal grandfather’s chair and listened to his stories. My sister born two years after me and I were the only ones who spent the night with my Hill grandparents. We woke up with the roosters and enjoyed the best breakfast ever! As far as I know I am the only child with a picture taken as a baby with my Hill grandparents. There are other photos in passing, but none with them and their grandparents. I treasure that photo. It’s not fancy, taken by my mother. But, here again, is an advantage of being the oldest. You were the only child for a few years. Once a family has four or five children time is divided between them, trips to grandparents are more hectic and less photos taken. Less stories heard. Less memories made. And that is one reason I like to share my memories!
My youngest sister was born when I was 19 years of age. Both grandfathers were deceased before her birth. My paternal grandmother was in a nursing home. As a baby she was taken to visit, but no photo was made. What a tragedy! My maternal grandmother lived until 1986, and my sister went to her house several times. But she wasn’t old enough to remember much about those times. I remember playing in grandmother’s yard, climbing her trees, rolling down the bank towards the road. I remember going to her house for Fourth of July, sitting on the front porch and experiencing the fireworks from across the street at the drive in theater!
And hearing all the stories from days long ago put the love of family and genealogy in my heart. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my grandparents, great-grandparents, uncles, aunts – all those I knew personally and also those I’ve met through my research. Genealogy – genes – the little pieces of all those relatives that have gone before me and helped make me who I am today! Who wouldn’t be interested?
And, on another note, I finished a book today. Early Washington County Kentucky Marriage Bonds, Consents and Minister Returns, 1792-1796. Included are color photographs of the marriage bonds, consents, minister returns. Will give you more information when I know it is available on Amazon.
Have a wonderful day my friends!
Categories: Family Stories
What a wonderful childhood you had! I know what you mean about hearing the stories, being with grandmothers and aunts and uncles. Seems like an old movie I get a peek of from time to time. I was the middle child- the only girl- and the hell raider from day 1. But I was also the one who polished the silver, dusted, helped with the household chores. The boys did zero. Not sure why. I even mowed the lawn and shoveled snow as a young girl.
I went to the poor house, as my mother called it, with Mother and other aunts to visit their old uncle. In my current knowledge I would say he was in a charity ward with cancer.
And the smells in those days- pipe tobacco and cigar wafting through the air. Rubbing alcohol and other potions on brown bottles we kept for sickness. The druggist used to compound my fathers medicines right there. They had colored amphora hanging in the window- the ancient symbol of healing. and it was just what was. Nothing special or unusual.
Thank you for writing as you do.
I, too
I, too, am the eldest child of five, and I was very lucky to have known 1 of my grandfathers, my grandmothers, 2 of my great-grandmothers, and many great aunts and uncles, all from rural Kentucky. The Douthitts date from 1790 in Henry County, and the Mattinglys and Carricos from early 1800s Washington/Marion County.
We are likely related – my mother was a Carrico.
James Buford Carrico (1830-1901) was my 2nd great-grandfather.
Do you have anything further back? I feel sure you descend from Peter Carrico of Charles County, Maryland.
Yes! from my maternal grandfather James Wm. Mattingly>Anna Elizabeth Barbara Carrico>James Buford Carrico>Henry Carrico> (John) Alexander Carrico> Peter Carrico. My mother grew up in St. Mary’s, Marion County, KY close to St. Charles Catholic Church. It’s also interesting that some of the early Carrico’s were in what became Henry County, KY, where my Douthitt ancestors were.
From age 11 till my marriage my family and I attended St. Charles church – my parents are buried there. I went to St. Charles Elementary and Junior High!! Small world!!
Who was your mother?
Love this!
Thank you!
I am an only child so I don’t have the same experiences that you had. However, I still can recall memories from when I was three years old with my grandfather. My memories of my aunt Uncle, who were childless are so very special. I feel blessed to have these memories and a lot of photographs
Sounds like you had a lovely childhood. Have you written down your memories?
My mother (1926-1995) was Anna Rosine Mattingly, daughter of James William Mattingly and Mary Lizzie Russell Mattingly.
Interesting! I am the first born and I have outlived my two younger siblings by 12 years and 6 years!